How to find Compassion for Self: Living through the Holidays with ADD
This is a season for compassion. I sometimes wonder how someone with ADD can find compassion for themselves in a season filled with societal traditions that are difficult in the best of times, and monumental during the holidays. One may really want to send holiday cards to friends and family, and yet never accomplish the task. Shame and guilt might pursue you like a cartoon storm cloud.
From one standpoint, this life can be the ultimate in living in the moment, like seeing things through a puppy’s eyes. In the greatest of moments, you can move from one interest to another passionately, without ever leaving your pajamas. There are amazing gifts and types of intelligence within this kind of mind, but truly mailing holiday cards is not one of them.
With the ADD mind, all the things that define graciousness or polite behavior are virtually impossible to accomplish. Thank you notes are written and calls made, all within the mind, and never sent. Loved ones might never hear of the love you carry for them.
Unfortunately or fortunately for friends, the ADD’er is much like the puppy that lives in the moment. Out of sight is often out of mind. The Attentionally different person is always navigating simple tasks of daily life. These challenges are full of the logistical problems inherent in Obtaining Food, Managing TIME, returning e-mails, and maintaining basic order. Therefore, loved ones may never experience their affection in conventional forms. The ADD friend, like the puppy, shows their love through their eyes and hugs, only the friend may not jump on you or lick your face.
To all of you that I love, I so hope you know you are in my heart, even though, while chasing my tail through the holidays, I may never tell you. I will write a blog instead….and perhaps put on my shirt inside-out and go to work.
I encourage anyone with ADD to forward this to a friend so that friend might know you love them. Have compassion for yourself for what you feel you should do, but might never. And, remember the special gifts you do share that no one else can.
Photo and blog by Larkin
Originally posted on The Estuary blog in December of 2013.